Life is so vast, so mysterious. You could know everything about something until another thing makes you question everything you know. Especially with people, they’re always changing and churning like the ocean crashing into the shore. They trap you into believing you know them until their mask is ripped from their face and their secrets radiate from their core.
In class, we talked about the Holocaust which was the mass exterminations of Jews by the German Nazi regime during the period 1941–1945. We discussed World War II and major themes of the book we read in class called Night. The deterioration of the Jews’ personalities as the result of being tortured in the camps was terrifying. The Jews’ eventually started to only care about survival and what they could do to get food and what they wanted. They turned on their parents and friends for things we take for granted everyday. I wondered what I would do if I was put in a situation where everything was taken away from me. Would the things I do define who I was? If I killed my loved one to survive would that be me or just me due to the circumstances?
“You can tell a lot about a person in how they act when they are angry,” was what I was always told, but was it the same when dealing with being stripped of your life? Are we really not ourselves when we’re hungry or is that who we actually are? Are compassion and apathy the only things separating us from our animal relatives? Do we all just think we’re better than animals until we turn into them? I don’t know.
I tried to repair many of my lost relationships recently. Wondering if the things that person had done to tear our relationship apart was actually who they were. Most were genuinely happy to talk and pleasant, a couple were the same; their masks were long gone and never coming back. Was it worth reawakening relationships that hurt me? I always wonder if I had done the same thing to that person would they have ever texted me again?
I’ve talked to one new person too and it’s been the most refreshing experience. Not to know anything about someone and just having mystery is relieving. I could attempt to repair all my lost relationships or I could start new ones. Leave all those people behind and make new friends. It sounds so good, but it’s easier said than done.
It’s weird how the days go by and life changes so abruptly. A couple of months ago, did you expect your life would look the way it does. I know I didn’t. I feel so lonely lately, but I’d rather be alone than deal with dozens people masquerading people.